Being so accommodating

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If you’re talking about how you are treated in intimate relationships then it is a different question entirely, but the answer still lies in how you feel and how you WANT to be treated. First, I think it’s important to identify that being a thoughtful, caring person and being a doormat are the same thing. For instance, instead of, “you shouldn’t expect me to give you rides all the time,” you could say, “I feel like my help isn’t valued,” or whatever applies.Sometimes when you do too much for other people, you are becoming an enabler, and you are not actually helping them. You can probably identify specific situations in your life when you have felt or are feeling like you need to be less accommodating. When you frame it in terms of yourself and your own feelings, the other person is less likely to get angry and defensive, on top of which, s/he can’t argue with you and tell you you’re wrong—they’re your feelings. If you’re feeling this way, I’m guessing there are people in your life who have gotten kind of accustomed (consciously or not) to being able to count on you to do take care of things that aren’t your responsibility. Simply say when someone asks you to do something that you want to say no to: “I’m sorry. (Thus, you avoid conflict still while standing your ground.) I don’t have examples because I’m one of those who doesn’t hold onto things that have happened to me.

But when I got him, he wanted to put it off until his next day off. His next day off came and went and he ignored my calls and did not return my calls.We truly enjoyed the temporary housing that you found for us and can never thank you enough for your assistance. I have been told that I allow people to walk over me, use me, etc.I’m posting this shortly after realizing it for myself.I’ll answer questions to help you get clarification, so you can help me reshape this attribute of mine.

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